Well 2012 got off to exactly the start I'd hoped for. Early in the new year we found out we were expecting. Things could not be more perfect and exciting in our household, imagining life with a new addition.
Unfortunately things took a turn for the worse after 7 hours in the emergency department at hospital on Saturday and today has been our final confirmation that we lost our baby and have in fact already miscarried. This news was not unexpected with many days of physical pain and other symptoms. However seeing that empty space on the ultrasound was still heartbreaking.
At first I was tempted to run scared from the situation and not really want to try again for a while, but my strong desire to be a mother has helped us move past those fears and we are hoping to try again quickly and hopefully have a successful, healthy pregnancy soon. Of course it will be scary next time, worrying that the same thing will happen but we've just got to hope our bad luck is behind us.
So not exactly a happy, romantic valentines day for us. It isn't exactly a major celebration for my husband and I anyway, as it is my birthday in 2 days. Yep, 29 this week. Another occasion I don't really wish to celebrate right now however we will spend it with immediate family at dinner on Thursday night.
What has been amazing is the support from family, friends and everyone really. Even the many people who have no idea what we have been going through have been full of kind words and support. Some may have guessed what happened, but others simply offer words of condolence without needing to know why. We are blessed to have so many wonderful people in our lives!
Now is the time when we pick ourselves up, brush ourselves off and focus on those better days ahead and hope for that day when we get to hold a precious little person in our arms...